Everything You Need to Know About Restraints
If you’re new to using restraints or just want a refresher, here’s everything you need to know about incorporating restraints into your bedroom play.
Why Restraints?
Restraints are popular in the bedroom for several reasons:
· Feeling of Control: Being restrained can make you feel unable to move, giving your partner an element of control, which can be very exciting.
· Feeling Exposed: Restraints can make you feel exposed and vulnerable, which some find incredibly hot.
· Empowerment for the Dominant Partner: Some people enjoy restraining their partner because it allows them to take control and feel like ‘the boss.’
How Do I Use Them?
Restraints can be used during sex or foreplay to restrain one or both wrists or ankles. They can be attached together or to a nearby bedpost or table leg. You can even get creative and restrain one of your limbs and one of your partner’s.
Safety Tips:
1. Snug but Comfortable: Restraints should be snug but not uncomfortable. If you or your partner experiences tingling, numbness, or pain, remove the restraints immediately. A good rule of thumb is to ensure you can insert two fingers between the restraint and the skin.
2. Limit Duration: Don’t wear restraints for prolonged periods. Being held in one position too long can cause pins and needles or numbness. Shift positions and stretch regularly.
3. Ensure Self-Release: The restrained person should be able to release themselves for safety. This precaution helps them feel secure and ensures they can escape in an emergency.
A Note on Consent
Consent is crucial for any sexual activity. Sex without consent is assault. Ensure you have your partner’s consent before restraining them, and maintain ongoing communication to ensure they continue to consent during play. If your partner asks to stop, says ‘no,’ appears uncomfortable, or gives any indication they want to withdraw consent, stop immediately and remove the restraints.
Traffic Light Method: This is a useful way to check in with each other during play:
· Green: Everything is fine.
· Yellow: Slow down or change what you’re doing.
· Red: Stop immediately.
You can adapt this method or create your own, as long as you ensure regular check-ins and clear communication.
Where to Start
If you’re new to restraints, start simple:
1. Mimic Restraint: Invite your partner to hold their hands in place without moving, mimicking being restrained.
2. Practice: Practise putting on and taking off the restraints, and let your partner do the same.
3. Single Limb: Start by restraining one hand or ankle and discuss how it feels.
4. Soft Touches: While restrained, give your partner a massage, tickle them, or experiment with different forms of touch.
5. Role-Reversal: Try being restrained yourself to understand the experience and explore different dynamics.
Ready for More?
Once you’re comfortable with basic restraint play, consider these advanced tips:
1. Combine with a Blindfold: This can heighten other senses and increase sensitivity.
2. Impact Play: Pair restraints with light spanking or other forms of impact play.
3. Sensory Play: Use ice cubes, feathers, or different textures on your partner’s skin while they’re restrained.
4. Incorporate Toys: Use your partner’s favorite toys on them while they’re restrained.
5. Domination and Submission: Experiment with power dynamics, inviting your partner to take charge while you’re tied up or vice versa.
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