How to Figure Out What You Actually Enjoy During Sex
Understanding your sexual preferences is the first step to achieving satisfying sex. It’s challenging for a partner to provide pleasure without any guidance. Various factors, including cultural stigma and sexual shame, can make people uncertain about their likes and desires. How can you discover what you enjoy in the bedroom? This article offers practical tips and reflection questions to help you better understand your own pleasure.
Practical Tips for Learning What You Like in the Bedroom
1. Read and Watch Erotica
"Erotica" refers to sexually explicit literary or artistic works. It can be a useful tool for exploring sexual interests either alone or with a partner. Erotica includes books, short stories, audio clips, drawings, and more. By exploring erotica and noting what excites you, you can gain more insight into what you may or may not enjoy during sex.
2. Explore Your Body and Masturbation
Before involving a partner, take time to touch and explore your own body. This exploration should extend beyond just your genitals. Experiment with different types of touch, such as gentle versus firmer pressure, and let go of any assumptions about what you’re “supposed” to like. Try different types of masturbation, such as acute versus broad stimulation, using sex toys, and varying your positions, like sitting versus lying down.
3. Experiment with a Trusted Partner
To learn what you enjoy during partnered sex, experiment with a trusted partner. Choose someone you can discuss your curiosity, hesitations, and uncertainties with openly. Initiate the conversation when they are in the right headspace and give them time to think about it. If you decide to proceed, set clear expectations and establish a safe word. Afterward, discuss how it went and whether you want to try it again.
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