The Truth About Wet Dreams: What You Didn’t Learn in Sex Ed
Wet dreams, also known as nocturnal emissions, are a natural occurrence that many people experience, but there’s a lot of confusion and misconceptions surrounding them. These involuntary orgasms, whether through ejaculation or vaginal fluid release, can happen during sleep, and their causes and experiences vary from person to person. Let's dive into some common myths and misunderstandings, and clarify what wet dreams really are.
Myth 1: Only Teenage Boys Have Wet Dreams
One of the most common myths is that only teenage boys experience wet dreams. While it’s true that wet dreams often begin during puberty when hormones are high, they can occur at any age, whether you’re 14 or 40. Both people with penises and people with vulvas can have wet dreams.
In fact, many people with vulvas also report having orgasms during sleep. A 1986 study found that 37% of college-age vulva-owners had experienced at least one orgasm in their sleep. Wet dreams aren’t exclusive to one gender or age group—they’re simply a normal part of the sexual experience for some people.
Myth 2: Women Can’t Have Wet Dreams
For a long time, wet dreams were discussed primarily in the context of people with penises, leaving many vulva-owners unaware that they too can experience nocturnal orgasms. But women can absolutely have wet dreams, just like men. As mentioned earlier, some vulva-owners report having orgasms while they sleep, even if it’s less frequently than those with penises.
Sex education, for many years, has largely been geared toward male experiences, leaving the sexual health of people with vulvas under-discussed. Wet dreams are just another part of the sexual spectrum that affects all genders.
Myth 3: Once You Become Sexually Active, Wet Dreams Stop
Another common misconception is that wet dreams are signs of sexual frustration or that they’ll stop once you become sexually active. This isn’t true. Whether you’re sexually active or not, wet dreams can still happen. Some people even have wet dreams more frequently when they haven’t had sex in a while.
Wet dreams are simply the body’s natural way of releasing sexual tension, whether you’re engaging in regular sexual activity or not. Hormones and bodily functions continue to influence these occurrences throughout your life, even if you’re sexually satisfied.
Can You Control Wet Dreams?
The simple answer is no—you can’t control them. Wet dreams are involuntary, much like breathing or blinking in your sleep. They are part of the body’s natural rhythm and can’t be triggered by conscious decisions such as having more sex or masturbating more often.
While some people might believe they can prevent wet dreams by changing sleep positions (like avoiding sleeping on their stomachs) or by masturbating more often, there’s no scientific evidence to support these ideas. Wet dreams are a normal physiological process that helps keep your sexual organs healthy.
Are Wet Dreams a Form of Cheating?
A common concern is whether wet dreams could indicate infidelity or dissatisfaction in a relationship. This belief stems from misunderstandings of what wet dreams are. The truth is that wet dreams are entirely involuntary—they can occur due to accidental stimulation from bedding, pillows, or even just natural hormonal fluctuations.
Wet dreams do not mean your partner is dreaming about someone else or is dissatisfied with your relationship. They are no more a sign of cheating than waking up with an erection or wet underwear. If your partner has frequent wet dreams, it’s important to understand that it’s just a natural occurrence—nothing more.
What Triggers Wet Dreams?
While the exact cause of wet dreams is still not fully understood, several factors could contribute to their occurrence:
1. Hormonal surges: During puberty or other times of hormonal fluctuations, such as around the time of menstruation or after periods of sexual inactivity, the body might release semen or vaginal fluid as part of its natural rhythm.
2. Sexual tension or arousal: Wet dreams can be the body’s way of releasing pent-up sexual energy, especially if you haven’t had the opportunity to orgasm through other means (sex or masturbation).
3. Accidental stimulation: Some people experience wet dreams without any sexual dream, and they may result from physical stimulation during sleep, like friction from bedding or pillows.
Can Wet Dreams Be Prevented?
Unfortunately, no. Wet dreams are a natural, healthy part of sexual function, and there is no guaranteed way to prevent them. Some believe that masturbation can reduce their frequency, but again, this is anecdotal and not scientifically proven. The best course of action is to not worry about them.
Wet dreams are normal, and while they may feel embarrassing or uncomfortable in the moment, they are a sign of healthy sexual functioning. Trying to stop them could cause unnecessary anxiety about something that is a perfectly normal part of the human experience.
What to Do if Your Partner Has Frequent Wet Dreams
If your partner experiences wet dreams regularly, it’s important not to jump to conclusions. As mentioned earlier, wet dreams are involuntary and not a reflection of their sexual satisfaction or relationship with you. There’s no reason to feel insecure or worried.
If wet dreams are causing your partner distress, having an open conversation about it can help. Emphasize that they are natural and healthy, and that it’s okay to experience them. As long as your partner feels comfortable and supported, wet dreams should not be a cause for concern.