Sex Education at Every Age
Sex Education at Every Age
When should sex education begin? Many of us imagine the awkward 'birds and the bees' talk delivered just before we become physically capable of making babies. However, sex education for children covers much more than just reproduction, including topics like consent, identity, gender, sexuality, and personal autonomy. So, when should this vital education begin?
The UK Government recently considered banning sex education for children under 9, which sparked controversy. Many mistakenly believe sex ed teaches children how to have sex, but it’s a broad subject relevant at every stage of life. There are age-appropriate lessons about consent, bodily autonomy, identity, community, families, love, and more that are essential even for young children. Let's dive in.
Sex Education for Children
Young Children: Birth to Age 9
From birth, children are incredibly curious about the world and their place in it. You can teach infants about their bodies even before they understand the language: making eye contact, seeking physical cues before touching them, and respecting their boundaries if they show discomfort. Avoid forcing young children to hug relatives if they seem unwilling.
Modeling consent in family life—respecting adult 'no’s in front of children—helps them understand their own boundaries. Showing them different family models (single parents, same-sex parents, foster families) is vital to help them understand the world. Teaching them the medical terms for body parts and their functions, and discussing the 'underwear rule' (no one has the right to touch them beneath their underwear) can protect them from abuse.
Throughout School
Once children are in school, some sex education comes from teachers. In biology classes, they'll learn the basics, and in PSHE (Personal Social Health and Economic education) classes, they'll cover broader topics like consent, identity, gender, and sexuality. However, funding for sex education is often patchy and varies by school.
Parents and carers should take an active interest in their child's sex education. If you're unsure what your child is learning, ask the school. Fill in any gaps and answer questions as they grow. Resources from organizations like Scarleteen and Bish can be helpful.
Sex Education as an Adult
No matter how good or bad your sex education was in school, you can continue learning long into your adult life. Adult sex education can include ethical porn and erotica, and because it’s self-directed, you can choose what to learn. However, finding trustworthy sources can be challenging. Here are some suggestions:
Blogs and Podcasts
Follow trusted influencers to broaden your knowledge. For example, Hannah Witton on YouTube, Dirty Lola in NYC, and Dr. David Ley, a clinical psychologist specializing in sex.
Books
Books like 'Enjoy Sex: How, When, and If You Want to' by Justin Hancock and Meg-John Barker, 'Come as You Are' by Emily Nagoski, and 'Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again' by Katherine Angel offer valuable insights into desire, identity, and consent.
Porn as Sex Ed
As an adult, you can learn from porn about techniques and different sexual practices. Ethical porn and sites focusing on sexual education can be particularly informative.
Sex Therapy
For specific sexual issues, trained therapists can help you work through them individually or as a couple.
Talks and Workshops
Explore online talks like the TED sex ed series and local events. The Vagina Museum in London offers regular talks and workshops. Sites like Fetlife provide event listings for kink and vanilla interests.
Sex Education Never Stops
The best way to educate yourself about sex and pleasure is through open communication. Talking to partners, friends, and others about sex can enhance your understanding and enjoyment. Embrace sex education as a lifelong journey, challenging governmental attempts to remove vital sex education from curricula.
-400x400.jpg)
-400x400.jpg)
-400x400.jpg)
