Backdoor Pleasure: The Ins and Outs of Anal
‘He pulled out to go back in the front, and we were both covered in poo’—a statement I saw on a mom forum that immediately inspired this blog post. Sometimes, as a sex educator, it can feel like I’m teaching people the basics, but the truth is, for many, this isn’t basic. We aren’t taught about pleasure in sex education, and anal is rarely mentioned. Actions like the one described can have dire consequences such as infection or worse! So here are the basics of enjoying anal.
Do You Want to Do It? Why Some People Enjoy Anal
For some, the bum is an exit-only hole, which is completely valid. You should never feel pressured to engage in anal by porn, media, or a partner. I personally enjoy anal, sometimes even more than vaginal sex, because it feels naughty, there’s an element of novelty and submission that I enjoy, and because it’s further away from my external clitoris, I can stimulate that easier than during vaginal sex, which helps me orgasm. For AMAB (assigned male at birth) people, stimulating the prostate can be incredibly pleasurable. There are many reasons why people enjoy or want to explore anal, but it’s worth checking in with yourself about those reasons. Are they internal reasons that make you feel excited and open, or are they external pressures that feel scary? Decisions should always come from within.
To Prep or Not to Prep
When it comes to the backdoor, shit happens—it’s what it’s for. Some people are okay with a little mess or even enjoy it. For others, it’s a mood ruiner. If you’re the latter, using a douche or enema an hour or so before play can clean out the area enough to keep things squeaky clean. A healthy diet will also keep things on a nice, firm schedule. At the end of the day, if you stick something in there, there’s always a risk of something coming out, so don’t shame yourself or others if it does happen.
Essential Knowledge
· Never go back to front (anal to vaginal): This is a recipe for infections, and some people have needed IV antibiotics or worse. If you do want to switch, wear a condom, wash, and change condoms between switching.
· Use toys with a flared base: The bum has a knack for sucking things up to places where they can’t be retrieved, leading to A&E visits for surgical removal. Flared bases prevent this.
· Use a thick water-based lube and lots of it: The anus isn’t self-lubricating, and anal isn’t fun without wetness. Make sure the lube is compatible with your protection or toys.
· Start small: Don’t have eyes bigger than your hole. It takes time to work up to bigger sizes. A finger, a small butt plug, or some anal beads are perfect to start with.
· Communicate your STI status and use protection: STIs can still be transmitted via anal, so please be aware and take precautions.
· Go slow: Take things slowly, allow your body to get used to it, and stimulate other areas to increase pleasure.
· Stop if you need to: Don’t feel pressured to enjoy it; anal isn’t for everyone. If you don’t like it, don’t do it.
Anal doesn’t have to be all or nothing—you can enjoy rimming, touching the outside, having a plug in, using vibration, fingers, toys, or even crazy depth trainers. You can enjoy it solo or with a partner; it can be sensual and intimate or part of a sub/dom game like wearing a plug as punishment. There’s so much you can do, but exploring your body, learning its pleasures, and discovering what you like is always a good thing.
-400x400.jpg)
-400x400.jpg)
-400x400.jpg)
-400x400.jpg)